Dietary Restrictions: How to cope
As I sit down to a new local restaurant, I can feel my anxiety taking over. I immediately start scanning the menu. “What can I eat?” “Is there more than one option?”
Then my anger starts.
“They have a Reuben on the menu?!” “They have Chicken Parmesan?" “Oh wow, that pasta dish sounds amazing”
I immediately start scanning the table. “What is everyone else going to get?” “Am I going to have to watch my husband eat my favorite food again?”
It’s tough every single time. I just have to pull myself back and give myself a pep talk. I can’t continue to be terrified to go to a new restaurant with my husband or friends.
I also found out that this is a pretty common emotion for people that struggle with dietary restrictions. It actually made me feel bad, because mine are not that bad. It could be a lot worse.
So how do I cope with these emotions? Going out to eat, like cooking, is one of my favorite things to do. I know there will never be a perfect solution for what I’m dealing with but I wanted to share a few tips that I have acquired during this experience.
1) Be Prepared.
Almost every restaurant has an online menu. Check out the menu before you go so you can prepare your order. This one sounds so obvious. However, I do it for a different reason that you might think. Almost every restaurant these days has menu items that can accommodate your dietary restriction or allergy. I do it so I can mentally prepare. I want to mentally hype myself up for the one appetizer on the menu that I can have. Or start thinking about how great the salad is going to be for my health. I don’t want to put myself in a situation to be let down. This is just one way I cope with not being able to get the chicken parmesan or Reuben sandwich.
2) Don’t be afraid to send your order back if it is not correct
I worked in restaurants for years. I always tip well, clean up my table after I’m done eating and before my dietary restriction- would never send food back or complain. I know how hard it is to work in a busy restaurant during rush hour. I know that people are human and make mistakes. However, I’ve had to learn that if I order my burger with no bun, or my salad with no croutons and it comes out incorrect- I have to send it back. Don’t be afraid to let your server know up front about your restrictions and allergies and if it comes out wrong- Send it back.
3) Don’t panic about being the “fussy” eater- Just relax
This would stress me out so much! I would always say things to myself like “they are going to be so annoyed to go out to eat with me.” It would bother me when people would ask “Well, where CAN you eat?” The truth is, I was the only one worried about it. No one really noticed that I ordered weird or cared where we ate. They were only asking to be nice. Once I got over this I accepted more dinner invitations.
4) Don’t stress if your meal isn’t perfect
If you have recently been diagnosed with a dietary restriction, you know what your favorite meal at your favorite restaurant tastes like. It can be frustrating to go get that meal modified to fit your diet. It doesn’t taste the same. I always try to go for something different. Sometimes, that meal isn’t that great either. Depending on where you are dining, if they don’t have a designated menu for your allergy or intolerance, the chances are the salad will be boring and the friend sitting next to you will have a better looking meal. My advice, just get over it. It’s one meal. You can make yourself a delicious snack when you get home. Dining out is, of course, about the food, but I have found food actually takes a backseat to the company that you are dining with. Just try to focus on the positives and enjoy a drink, laughter and creating new memories.
